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We can't call him Kirk because Kirk Campbell is too close to Kirk Cousins and I don't want to call him Kork Coupons because that's what I call Kirk Cousins.

Frankie goes to the bathroom and isn't sure which toilet he's going to finish on.

"Maybe you just spray him down with fabric softener."

"If there was a guy named Dude Dude he would've been recruited."

"The Iron D stood for 'Daddy' so we're just going to go with that."

BLACK, BROWN, OR GRAY SQUIRRELS?